Tag: Dr Paul

The story of Ikenna Ukaigwe and the Bible Verse Picture

A little while ago now I shared with you this picture from my Nigerian friend Ikenna. I promised to tell you the story behind the picture – and at that stage I was hoping he would provide me with the long awaited John 3:16 photo. But it was not to be. Our conversations have become cold and distant of late – he barely even replies to my emails and when he does they are monosyllabic requests for money. I don’t pay these guys in advance, or indeed upon production of the goods.

For the record:

1Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. 2I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. 3And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. 4He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”

5He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”

Ikenna first contacted me in April. His first email is included in full below – you might be interested to know that I don’t have an official church website, but I had, in previous correspondence with a couple of other scammer accounts suggested that I worked for a church that was looking for mission partners overseas. These scammers often try to pull theological heartstrings – and I figured they were more ripe for supplying me with a Bible verse themed photo. Here’s what my friend Kenny had to say:


“I am a regular visitor to your church official website and i must acknowledge that your church, from what i read from your website is worth joining and i also wish you can come down here to open a branch of your church because since i got to know your church i have been looking everywhere for a branch of your church but i could not see it, at least this will give me and some other people the opportunity to worship with you from here.

Since i read about your church in a foreign magazine my friend gave to me, i have always wished to become a member and that is why i am writing you. The zeal to become a member of your church is due to the fact that i am convinced that the establishment of your church is a true vision from God and as such, i wish to also be a part of that vision to enable me improve and grow in my spiritual life.

I will like you to let me know what i am supposed to do to become am member of your church and also i will like you to send me some of your church bulletin or order of your church service to enable me follow up in all your church activities from here. may the good lord bless and keep you safe in HIS hands, i will keep praying for the church and also pray that you will find me worthy to accept my request, Amen.”

Well. This seemed like a pretty good opening. So I replied – sowing the seeds of my little scheme to land the photo, I got straight to the point:

“I am thrilled to hear that you have discovered my church. Where do you live? We are currently looking for mission partners in foreign countries who we will generously support as part of our annual Global Bible Knowathon.

If you would like to be a part of this upcoming prayer and fundraising event please send me a photo of yourself holding a sign with your favourite verse of scripture. This photo will be featured in our mission slideshow and will help us to raise funds for gospel ministry in your country.”

He responded quickly. The thing about friend Kenny is that he was so eager to please:

“I was so happy to hear your reply to my mail to you, i must tell you that i really wish to a part of your church. I live in Nigeria and i’m also a Nigerian. As regards the prayer even, i will like to be part of it. I will send you the photograph as soon as possible so that necessary things procedure can be followed.

Thank you and may the lord bless you, Amen.”

I kept on reeling him in, sensing that I might finally have cracked the scambaiting code:

“I am very excited to hear that you will be a mission partner. Please send me the photo as soon as possible so that we can start supporting you in prayer and petition, and through our weekly mission offering.”

But then I didn’t hear from him for two weeks – so I sent him a reminder:

“Is it at all possible that we might get a photo of you holding a sign with a Bible Reference written on it in time for our church service next Sunday?”

His excuse was that he had been sick, and in hospital.

“Sorry i have not written you to send the picture as promised,i have been very sick and been in the hospital but i promise you this i must get this picture before the sunday you talked about.

Thank you for your concern for me, God will bless you.”
This was the first in a string of emails that he sent me without waiting for my reply. The next one included the photo:


“How are you and your entire members of the church doing? I hope the good lord is taking good care of you all. Here is the picture and the bible quotation ( Revelation Chapter 21 vs 1 to 5), it is my favorite and it makes my heart glad and it also make me remember that God knows about my situation at all time. I run a small shop where i sell used clothes and other household things and that is where i took this picture.

I hope the picture gets a positive considerations. May the good lord be with you all in your exhibition.”

And when I didn’t acknowledge receipt immediately I got this one:

“How are you doing? Hope good.

I sent you my pictures yesterday, i hope you got, if you did, please let me know ok?

May the lord be with you, Amen.”

And then, somewhat impatiently, this one:

“I have not heard from you since i sent you my pictures, what is happening?”

Here is my reply – I didn’t want this fish to get away, so I hit him up for a second photo – this time with John 3:16 involved:
“Sorry I haven’t written back yet. Things have been so very hectic here.

The pictures look great. They will be very useful in our mission services. Please can you send me the details for the transfer of moneys raised.

Also, with those details, could you send me another photo with John 3:16 as the Bible reference – “For God so loved the world, that he sent his only son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life”.

Could you underline the words “loved the world” – we believe this shows the importance of mission work.

Once again – thank you so much for your partnership in this matter. May you be blessed richly and abundantly through our friendship.

I apologise again for not replying to you.”

He responded, promising to deliver the goods:

“It’s so good to hear from you today, i must tell you that i was beginning to get worried over your silence since i sent the pictures. How did the service go? Did your church accept the pictures and the quotations? You asked me to give you details for you to send me money, how did the money come about? Please let me know in your mail but for the records, My full names are Ikenna Ukaigwe M. my address is [WITHHELD].

The pictures you asked me to send again, what will it be used for, please tell me, but i will send them ok? Please let me hear from you soon, i will be waiting, may the good lord bless and keep you and the members of your church, Amen.”

I had hopes. This was a bite, not a nibble. So I pulled out all the stops. I asked for personal details:

“I must apologise for the delay.

The money has not been collected yet – it will be collected in a service in two weeks time. Our mission service.

The pictures were acceptable – especially the one with you smiling. You look very happy in that photo, brother.

Brother, the pictures will be used in our mission book to be given to people for praying for other Christians around God’s wonderful creation. We will use your picture on the inside page, the John 3:16 picture will be on the cover of the book.

I will also need you to answer the following questions for a profile inside the book:

Your Name.
Your Age.
What church you are a part of in your home country.
How you became a Christian.
What you do for work.
What you do for fun.
Things that we, in Sydney, can pray for for you, in Nigeria

I look forward to learning more about you brother.”

Then disaster struck. Ikenna got “sick” again:
“I now understand what you mean by sending you the next picture with john 3.16. I want to believe that your church accepted my previous pictures as you said, i sent that picture because i want you and your church to know my best part of the bible but this one is just for the fact that you wish to use my photo for a purpose. I will still send it but i must also apologize for not sending it till now, i have been very sick, but i’m better now.

Expect the pictures and the information’s in my next mail may be tomorrow but brother Bruce i want to believe that my pictures will not be used in anything that will not be to the glory of God.

Thank you and may the good lord bless and keep you all, Amen”

I tried to reassure him:
“We will certainly be using the photos you sent me as indicated, the John 3:16 one is what we’re asking everybody involved from around the world to provide. We want their favourite verse and a John 3:16 one. Sorry I didn’t make this clearer from the beginning.”

And here’s where he pulled the bait-and-switch – asking me to give him money…

“I thank you so much for reassuring me of the use of my picture. But i am having some financial problems in sending you the pictures, my cameras got spoiled last week when my friend took it for a foto shoot, as a result i have prepared the placard with John 3:16 written on it but i have to go out and take this pictures and also scan it before i can send it to you, and this will cost me some money. Can you please help me out in any way.”

I would love to help. Truly. I would. But like any minister I am caught up in the whims of my elders and committees.

“I asked our elders, we can not help you until we have held the mission service, and we can not hold the mission service (to raise funds for you) without the John 3:16 photo.

It is my prayer that you will get this sorted out and that the Lord will provide you with all your labours deserve, and a working camera.”

Ikenna replied:

“I am really sorry for trying to bug the church, i really understand the way things works but i just felt like making a personal appeal on you to help but i didn’t know you will take it to the church, any way, i will see what i can do to make this work but i want you to be sure that i made you a personal appeal and i never intended the church to go against their normal procedures.”

I didn’t want to create any such expectations:

“Sorry Ikenna, I misunderstood. I look forward to receiving the photos. “

It turns out the clothes selling business isn’t great in Nigeria:

“i’m so sorry for not being able to send you the pictures, i am still battling with myself to see that i raise some money to do that, my camera is not yet fixed and things are very tough for me here but hopefully i will send it before this week runs off. i hope it’s not late yet.”

I decided this one had probably run its course – so I put forward a mega-request.

“No, it’s not too late. We run missions collections regularly. As soon as we receive the John 3:16 photo we will be ready to proceed. Oh, and we need your answers to the questions that I sent you for the profile we hand out on the day.

Here they are:

1. Full Name.
2. Date of Birth
3. Where do you live?
4. What is the name of your church?
5. Tell us a little bit about your family.
6. What is your job?
7. What do you enjoy doing with your time?
8. How do you serve your church?
9. What can we pray about for you?
10. What will you do with the money we send you?

And some for our children and youth (they like funny answers)
1. If you could have a special power, what would it be and why?
2. What is your favourite animal?
3. What is the silliest thing you have ever done?
4. How do you know that God loves you?
5. What do people eat for breakfast in your country?
6. What animal would win in a fight – a lion or a rhinoceros?
7. What is your favourite colour?
8. If you see somebody drop $100 on the street do you keep it or give it back?
9. Where is your favourite place to go?
10. If you were God for a day what would you do?

Thanks for your patience Ikenna. We look forward to receiving your photograph. Our last mission collection raised $2,700. People are really enjoying giving generously to our brothers and sisters around the world.”

Kenny stepped up his game too:

“I am still battling with the camera to take and scan the photograph, you may not understand how bad things are for me here but i pray that God will open your eyes to see.
May the name of the lord praise, i believe God can change things for me here.
ukaigwe”

And I sent what would prove to be my last piece of correspondence to Kenny:


“You managed to get the first photo very easily for me, I think you’ll be able to use your initiative to get me this second photo.

I look forward to receiving it so that we as your brothers can do our bit to bring about change in your world.”

If you google Ikenna’s name you’ll find him on Facebook and a couple of other social networks with just a profile picture and no developed legend. He doesn’t really seem like a very competent scammer. Anybody who has read anything about going undercover knows you need a good legend.

This wasn’t my funniest scambait to date – Dr Paul is going to take some beating. But it was my most fruitful.

August 3, 2010

A curious confession

Remember Dr Paul? If not you can read my past correspondence with him here (and check out our phone calls on YouTube).

He sent me a curious email today – four months after our last exchange.

Here’s what he had to say for himself… Now I have to decide how to respond. I’m 99.999999% sure that he is going to try to scam me again. Lets see how it goes.

Dear.
How are you today. my dear i want to tell you some thing now. for now am child God now that name Dr paul acquah is not my name, my really name is Emmanuel onyekwere am from Nigheria i came down to ghana because of problem that is why am start anwser Dr paul acquah. so now am child God i have give my life to Jesus that is why am telling you the truth now. so my dear if you like to contact me back this is my email address
emmanuelonyekwere@hotmail.com, this is my mobile if you like to call me so i will tell you more. +233-24-1111-297, my dear one advice i want to give you any  body that contact you from Africa told you that you have consignment please dont follow the person he want to scam you money at last you can not get any thing. so my dear if you can move head will me i will open you eye for you and tell you more things in inter net.my dear i will like you to been my good friend. Am looking forward to hear from you soon.

Yours Friend
Mr.Emmnuel onyekwere

I wrote back…

Dear Emmanuel,

I’m glad we are now being honest with one another – and I am happy to hear that you have come to know Jesus.

Perhaps, as a token of good faith, you would now be prepared to send me a photograph of yourself – and so I know it is you – perhaps you would like to include a verse from the Bible on a sign that you are holding.

I look forward to hearing more from you.

Your friend,

Nathan

December 24, 2009

Just so you know…

You really should check out my latest phone call from Dr Paul/Interpol Ghana. It’s in the scambaiting section.

August 11, 2009

The final phone call (I think)

I got so sick of Dr Paul and Interpol that I decided to bring things to a head.

I haven’t heard back from the Dr Paul character since my last insulting email. But I moved things along with mr Kofi from Interpol. And then he called me. Here’s the (in my opinion) hilarious phone call. He trips up a number of times. It goes for seven minutes. But it’s the best seven minutes of phone call ever. The email he talks about in the phone call is included below. The best bit is that Mr Kofi – the chief of Interpol/Director of Ghana’s Criminal Investigators Department – asked me to send money to the guy who Dr Paul told me was his staff member who "wouldn’t eat my money"…

Dear.

Thank you very much for this money you send but the problem now that i did not give you the information you will use to send it, please i want to advice you now to go western union now change it now will this nams and address onbelow:

1. NAME: PAUL MOUGOR

2. ADDRESS: ACCRA GHANA

my friend go back now change it in western union and get back to me very fast so you fund will deliver to you very fast now. my friend you have to do this very fast because of problem.Am looking forward to hear from you today.

After the phone call – where I’m sure he didn’t get my message – I decided to let him know that the game was up. If he doesn’t get this message he truly is the dumbest scammer ever.

Mr Kofi/Dr Paul/Emmanuel Onyekwere
The game is over. You are too stupid for words.
I am sorry. You have just made too many mistakes. Let me list them.
1. If you’re scamming somebody and they ask for an easy piece of proof – just send it to them. Don’t make stupid excuses like "I haven’t done that before"
2. If you can forge ID and use a fake email address – anybody else can too.
3. Claiming to be a Christian while trying to steal somebody’s money is just wrong. Obviously you don’t actually believe in God. You’ve got hell to look forward to and all the money you’re stealing off innocent people is not going to get you  out of that.
4. If you’re going to bring another character into the picture get someone else to make the phone call – especially if the person hasn’t given your new character their phone number.
5. When you make a phone call actually listen to what the person is saying.
6. When someone tells you they know you’re a thief and then two weeks later writes back to you – you must wonder whether or not they’re just toying with you.
7. When you receive an email – actually read it. Sticking to a script won’t fool anybody.
8. If you’re going to try to steal somebody’s money at least get some real looking ID – photoshop jobs are easy to see through.
9. When someone sends you a Western Union receipt after not having contacted you for weeks – perhaps assume it’s not real. I hope you went into Western Union and looked like an absolute idiot.
And lastly, and this is the big one…
If you’re playing the role of Interpol – don’t send tell me to send money to somebody who "works as Dr Paul’s assistant and won’t eat my money" – which is what Dr Paul Acquah said about Paul Mougour – the guy Mr Kofi is now asking me to send money to.
In conclusion. You are the worst scammer ever. You’ve wasted so much time talking to me. I feel good that you’re not talking to some gullible fool and taking their money. But I suggest that because you are so bad at this you change your ways. Go to church this weekend and tell them that you’re a reformed criminal and ask them to give you some real jobs to do. Get a job washing dishes in a restaurant. You’d be better at every other job in the world than this one. You are THE WORST Nigerian scammer in history.
Regards,
N

August 11, 2009

A week with the Doctor

I’m getting a bit bored with Dr Paul. I don’t think he’s going to come to the party for me and I’m struggling to get him off script.

Let’s take a wander through a week of correspondence… I really am about to give up on this turkey. I have plenty of other opportunities to pursue. Well I was, but then an interesting development occured…

Dr Paul.

I am going to spell out very clearly what I require.

1. Your photo – not a photo of the boxes – I want a photo of you, or Emmanuel, holding a sign, to show that you are who you said you are. The sign should have either “John 3:16” or your favourite bible verse on it.
2. A booking form for a hotel as detailed – at this stage I will be arriving in Ghana on the 5th of August. And departing on the 10th. Please send me a confirmed, and paid for, booking at a hotel – I will reimburse you when I arrive.

Until I have those things I WILL NOT be booking my flights.

I also WILL NOT be sending any further money until I have verified your identity or you find the $850 I sent already.

I will not send money to any service – I do not trust you, your country or these companies.

Please get these things done and get back to me or the deal is off – I will be calling my embassy in Ghana and starting legal processes to recover the money if I do not hear from you.

If you ring or respond without having addressed these points – the DEAL IS OFF.

Understand?

Dear.

Thank you for the mail. my friend i done like the way you do want to understand my word. for this you told me to do i can not do that because am telling you that i did collect any money you told me that you send but you feel that i collect the money am eat it.

Dr Paul,

I understand you completely.
You don’t understand me. Let me spell it out.

MY MONEY IS MISSING. IT IS GONE. I TRANSFERRED IT TO THE PERSON YOU SAID TO.

Maybe you can’t trust this Emmanuel Onyekwere. Perhaps he is a thief.

You should look into this.

DO WHAT I SAY OR THE DEAL IS OFF.

Dear.

Thank you very much once again. my friend you have to try understand me and understand where amn going. please my friend am advice you to beliver me i will help you get you fund.

once again my friend will use Emmanuel onyekwere before but at last will have problem, i want to give you different name now so will can not have any problem again.

so if you want me to give you any order name i can do it.my friend please take it easy very thing will been ok. i take you as my good friend i will not like if me and you start having problem because for this business now will have go far . please try understand very thing will be nice. Am looking forward to hear from you today.
Yours Friend
Dr paul

Dr Paul. You have one more chance. Send me a new name, I’d for this new staff member of yours and a photo of him holding a sign with your favourite bible verse. Then and only then will I try sending the money again. Understand.

Dear.

Thank you very much for your mail and explanations so far. my friend this my person the id have problem. try understand me because am try to make you good friend to me. my friend try hear my advice very thing will go well . this is name of the person onbelow;

1.NAME:PAUL MOUGOR

2. ADDRESS; ACCRA GHANA

Am looking forward to hear from you today.
Yours Friend
Dr paul

Here’s the ID he sent…

Dr Paul,

If this person has an ID problem I will not deal with him. I am not stupid. I am being careful.

Find someone who won’t eat my money, who doesn’t have an ID problem. And I will deal with them.

Send me their ID, a photo of them holding a sign as requested, and their transfer details and then we will talk. I will not be sending money to anybody with an ID problem.

I think my lack of trust is understandable given what happened to the last $850 I sent.

Get this sorted Dr Paul, or the deal is off.

Dear.
Thank you very much for your mail and explanation. my friend please try understand me. please i want to inform you that you will not going to have any problem from this person. my friend don’t worry go head send this money if will have any problem i will take care of it. this person i give you now is Child God it can not eat you money OK.

so my friend believe me. all this problem will have before will can not have it again. my friend this person is one of staff in my office since Ten days now he is working will me i never see any bad thing do to me. my friend don’t fear am will you . so my friend what make me doing all this for you that i do want you to loose this fund because you have try so much . Am looking forward to hear from you soon.

Yours Friend
Dr Paul

Dear Dr Paul,

I think I’ve made myself pretty clear.

I’ll write on separate lines so there’s no chance for you to misunderstand.

DO THIS OR I WILL NOT SEND ANY MORE MONEY TO YOU.

I don’t care if this person is your staff member, or a child of God… I want you to prove to me, beyond a doubt, that his identity is true.

DO THIS OR I WILL NOT SEND ANY MORE MONEY TO YOU.

I want you to do this BY SENDING ME THE PHOTO I have asked for.

DO THIS OR I WILL NOT SEND ANY MORE MONEY TO YOU.

Failure to comply on this matter will finish our arrangement. I will then launch legal proceedings and contact the police in Ghana to recover my money.

DO THIS OR I WILL NOT SEND ANY MORE MONEY TO YOU.

Give me the photo I have asked for. If this guy is on your staff and you work for the Reserve Bank of Ghana then finding a camera should not be a problem.

DO THIS OR I WILL NOT SEND ANY MORE MONEY TO YOU.

I don’t think I can be clearer than this.

DO THIS OR I WILL NOT SEND ANY MORE MONEY TO YOU.

I WILL NOT ANSWER ANY MORE OF YOUR CALLS OR EMAILS WITHOUT THIS PHOTO.
Best regards,

Nathaniel.

Dear.
Thank youn very much for your mail. my friend am try to make you to understand me but you do want to hear me. my friend i take you as my good friend but why you are doing me all this.i do no any order way i will explain my self to you.

Dr Paul.

You are being a fool, or expecting me to be a fool. I will not put up with this any longer. THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE.

You don’t ever seem to actually read the things I say to you. So I will keep this short.

I already sent you money. The fact that it was stolen by someone in your country makes me nervous. I will not send more without further proof. It’s that simple.

I have shown, with the first transfer, that I am willing to do business with you. I am doing all I can to help you clear these funds from your accounts.

We have agreed that I will provide you a percentage of these funds. I am a man of my word.

If you can not provide me the proof that I ask for then I have serious doubts that you are “my good friend”.

I have understood everything you have said. I am not stupid.

He’s still not getting it. A simple photo. That’s all it would take.

Dear.
Thank you very much for your mail. my friend that thing you do me to do please i can not do that please. if you want to send this money send it but if you go head talk to much it will not help you. my friend all i want to advice you that all this you are doing can not help you just go and send this money today your fund will deliver to you. Am looking forward to hear from you today.
Yours Friend
Dr Paul

I will not throw good money after bad. Until I know what happened to the last money I sent I will trust nobody.

That includes you.

Produce the photograph I have asked for or stop emailing me.

Produce the photograph and I will wire the next installment of funds and purchase my tickets to Ghana.

Good day.

He replied again. Without a photo… it didn’t say anything interesting. And his reticence is really starting to annoy me. I was all set to give up on him when he threw an interesting twist into the mix. Enter Interpol Ghana. Clearly things aren’t progressing quickly enough for Dr Paul’s liking…

INTERPOL GHANA

I am Mr David Kofi, Director of Ghana’s Criminal Investigations Department, We here inform you that we have been able to recover the sum of $15.7 Million United states dollars belonging to you, from team of fraud stars / imposter’s.
This money was recovered during our last unawares operation which took place on the 7th day of Aug. 2009 at the imposter’s hideout/arena.

The investigation carried out so far, stated that you are the real beneficiary of this fund according to one of the imposter’s.We therefore ask you with out any further delay to reconfirm to us if this is the exact amount you have lost in the hands of this criminals. And you are hereby to contact us as soon as you receive this message for more details.

David Kofi,
Director of Ghana’s Criminal
Investigations Department

So, I sent this to Dr Paul to see what he’d make of it – if it wasn’t actually from him it would certainly throw an interesting complexion on things.

Dr Paul,
I am worried. I just got an email from Interpol Ghana – about a scam they had busted in Ghana related to $15.7 million that belongs to me.

I trust this was not you, and that our transaction is proceeding.

I am very worried.

He sent me the same old scripted rubbish…

Dear.

Thank you very much for your mail and explanations so far. my friend i think you see now how am telling you since to send this money so you fund will deliver to you very fast. my friend one advice am giving you as a friend that if you follow those people that send you that you will going to have problem . so my friend don’t follow does people because the will Miss lead you. all i want to inform you now as child of that no Interpol take you fund.

please once again don’t follow those people as i told you. my friend this is what am please you since to send this money since i think you see it now. so my friend if you will follow my word now go today send this money i told you since so you fund will deliver to you this weekend, but if go head talking to much it will not help. Am looking forward to hear from you today.
Yours Friend
Dr Paul

Stupid Dr Paul. Just stupid… I tell him I need photographic proof and he tells me that he can send me the same old passport photo again…

Dear.
Thank you very much for your mail. my friend i do no how i can explain my self to you again. you ask me id i give you again you ask me passport i give you i do no what i will do for you again. my friend am man of my word i will never let you down in all my word am telling you since. my friend if you want to send this money try send it and live very thing for you see that you fund will deliver to you fast. but if you go head doing this way it can help you out. Am looking forward to hear from you today..
Yours Friend
Dr Paul

I’ve had enough with this idiot. I am going to turn him in to “Interpol”… so much for trust and fidelity…

Dr Paul,

I have never asked you for your passport or your ID. I’ve only ever asked you for a photo with a Bible verse. ID is too easy to forge.

Thanks for your time. I hope Interpol don’t arrest you. But I am going to tell them that you also have my $850.

If you had produced the photo I would have paid the money. Now, you will get no share of my funds. Interpol will sort this situation out for me.

I’m going to see how long Interpol will email me for. In the meantime, I’m getting rid of Dr Paul. He’s a drain on resources. I tried to mix hard gospel truths, the knowledge of how the scamming system works and any other manipulative tools I could pull out in one last bid for that photo…

Dr Paul,

I am no longer trusting you. You are a criminal. A dirty internet scammer. I was right the first time and now I have lost $850.

I am going to give Interpol Ghana all the information I have about you. Dirty scammer. God hates thieves. Repent. Trust in Jesus and be saved. You are not a Christian man. You are a thieving little boy in an internet cafe somewhere. I am glad Interpol have contacted me, because now I will get my money and you will get in trouble.

Sadly for you, all you needed to do to prove your identity was send me the photo I asked for in our first email exchange. We’ve sent more than 100 emails since. Surely a better use of your time would have been to send me the photo. You are a stupid maga. You will not get any of this money. Interpol are going to send it all to me and throw you in a dirty jail cell where you belong. And I’m going to help them.

You are not the esteemed Dr Paul Acquah – you’re some teenage yahoo with an internet connection. Interpol will find you, you stupid, stupid man.

You’ll go to jail, then you’ll probably go to hell – if you don’t give up your thieving ways, go to church and trust in Jesus.

If I’m wrong about all of this – just send me the photo I asked for. I know you won’t. Because you can’t. Because you’re a lying, thieving man incapable of thinking past your pre-arranged little script. You won’t go far in your little scamming guild. They’ll probably shoot you for being useless. I bet you get less money than all your scamming friends. Because you are a retard. That means you’re stupid. An idiot. A fool. A halfwit. So, before interpol catch you, or your gang shoots you, you should definitely go to your local church and confess to being a horrible sinner and a terrible criminal. Terrible not because being a criminal is bad – but terrible because you’re so bad at it.

I will personally see to it that you pay for your stupidity. And I will get all the money that’s sitting in those boxes. Because Interpol have promised it. How do you like that? Your maga is not going to pay you mugu. You are stupid.

Goodbye. I hope you turn to Jesus before worms eat your face while you lie dead in the ground.

I’ll keep you posted. Stay tuned for stories of marriage proposals, church building fundraisers, and my new initiative to collect bible verses from all over the globe…

August 9, 2009

Scamorama

I mentioned the other day that I was going to pull the scambaiting posts off my main page. They were too long for anybody not interested in reading through pages and pages of my interactions with random Africans.

Well, today I did it – so from now on you can get your scam fix here – or subscribe to my scam posts here – for the time being these posts will still appear in my full RSS feed…

You’ll see a link to the Scambaiting category in the far right column, and the headings of the last five posts to appear there.

To whet your appetite – here’s a wordle of all of Dr Paul’s correspondence to me…

August 3, 2009

Doctored emails

I know I said I was going to stop putting my conversations with Dr Paul on the main page. They’re getting too long.

But I have an excuse – there’s this cool new “text to video” platform – xtranormal – that is worth mentioning all by itself. The fact that I’ve used it to animate our current email conversations is neither here nor there… the German accent I gave him makes him just as hard to understand as he is in real life. I’ve updated the video to give him a nice clear British accent…


August 2, 2009

The Doctor

I must find out what sort of doctor Dr Paul is. Especially since now I’M GOING TO VISIT HIM IN GHANA. Yes. That’s right people. That’s worthy of a "shout" I think…

Actually, I should spell out – I am not stupid. There is no way known to man that I will be visiting Ghana any time soon. Dr Paul thinks differently. Because I made him… Evidently the wild goose chase I’m sending him on – back and forth to the Western Union office – is taking its toll.

Dear
Thank you very much for your mail. my friend am go to western union now if i came back i will get back to you. my friend if i have any problem i will let you no because since last night am so worry about this problem. my friend i want to go now and meet the man in western union if i come back i will let you no. Am looking forward to hear from you soon.
Yours Friend
Dr Paul

Western Union didn’t come through with the goods – so he called me again – and then sent me this email…

Dear.

Thank you very much for your mail . my friend am not happy for all this that going on now. my friend since that time i call you on phone i want to western union to meet the man after the check again the told me that the money is not there.

please my friend this type i never see it before that some one  send me money i did not see. my friend am please you in the name of God come back to that  western union you send this money collect this money back and send it to any order western union again and send me the information please because this one you send i have try all i can do to see that i pick this money but no way please.

my friend this can of ward i never see it before since i have being in this office. my friend please try do very thing today so by tomorrow diplomat can come and deliver this fund to you.  my friend as am sending this mail to you am so worry about this problem that come out now. since morning here the custom there calling me to burn the money i told them will have big now by collect the money.

once again my friend because of the way i love you makes me being run round since last night for you to collect you fund. my friend as i told you try do it this way it help you and me so all this problem will do fast. i want very thing been round up this week so you can feel happy. Am loking forward to hear from you today.

Yours Friend

Dr paul

Something is wrong. All the details I sent him were correct…It’s time for me to sort this out, in person.

Dr Paul,
I have been to see Western Union – they say the money has definitely been sent. And their records show it has been collected in Ghana.
Now you are claiming that you did not receive the money and asking me to send it again. I am concerned. The lady at Western Union said I should be careful because she has seen people tricked out of money by people from Ghana before.
I told her that you are my good friend. And that I trust you to be truthful to me because you are a Christian brother.
Dr Paul, I hope this is true. I will not be sending money again by Western Union. If you have not received the money that I have sent then I think I must arrange a trip to Ghana to sort this out.
I will book flights in the next few days. Will you be able to meet me at the airport and arrange accommodation for me – I must stay in a hotel with at least a 4 star rating and a reliable internet connection.
Please can you book this for me. I will send you through my flight details shortly. I will come to your country for 5 days. That should be enough to sort out this matter. I will also bring a significant sum of money to ensure any problems with this situation can be ironed out.
Please let me know as soon as possible if the money has turned up – if I don’t hear from you in the next 12 hours I will book these flights.
Regards,
Nathaniel

Apparently it’s all Western Union’s fault and I should now use MoneyGram instead. Dr Paul is calling me every 20 minutes today – and I’ve ignored most of his calls.

Dear.

Thank you very much for our phone discuss. my friend am not happy for all this problem but my God grace all this problem will done very well my friend. about to come to Ghana am not advice you for that because it will collect you much money so what you will now go to money gram and send it money please. my friend try to do it now please. my friend what makes me  i told you not to  come ghana i done want you to have problem i will use my hand here do very thing for you . This is the information you will use to send it on money gram now onbelow

1. NAME; EMMANUEL ONYEKWERE

2. ADDRESS; ACCRA GHANA

Am looking forward to hear from you today.

Yours Friend

Dr paul

What? He doesn’t want me to come… I thought kidnapping and extortion would be more lucrative… I best give him a carrot…

My dear Dr Paul,
I am a wealthy man. Paying to visit your part of the world, my friend, would not concern me. I have not been there. Perhaps there are business opportunities I can explore.
I am concerned. I am wealthy because I do not take being ripped off kindly. I will no doubt be able to sue Western Union for lots of money – including my travel costs – if I get to Ghana and find they have stolen my money.
My friend, I think that I will come to Ghana rather than pay more money to Money Gram. I will book my flights and let you know the details.
The only thing that will stop my arrival is if you receive the Western Union money in the next few hours. Perhaps there has been some delay in the transfer clearing from Australia.
Please let me know if my travel is unnecessary for this reason. I will not invest a second sum of money until I know what has happened to the first.
Kind regards brother,
Nathaniel

Now I need to give him $500 to smooth the way for my trip…

Dear.

Thank you very much for your mail once again. my friend as you told me that you will come to ghana no problem is good. As i told you on phone about this $500 please go now and send it so my morning time here i will go and collect the money and get this document for you. This is the information you will use it to send it through western union money transfer onbelow;

1. NAME; EMMANUEL ONYEKWERE

2. ADDRESS; ACCRA GHANA

Am looking forward to hear from you today.

Yours Friend
Dr paul

That sounds odd. What is this $500 for?

Dr Paul,
What exactly is this money for?
I will not trust Western Union with my money again until I have been to Ghana to sort out this problem.
In fact, I don’t feel comfortable wiring money via any service until I get to the bottom of things.
I will bring the $500 with me, and further funds to cover emergencies.

He replied…

Dear.

Thank you very once again. my friend i no you are not happy what western union do before. but i want to assure you that you will not going to have any problem again. please try send this money so i will go and burn this document and send to you before you come to ghana.

my friend this documnet i want to use this money it is very important . so my friend if you can not send it to western union please go to money gram and send this money fast because this $500 is very important so i will get this document and send to you because this document you will show them in airport because you come in. Am loking forward to hear from you today

Yours Friend

Dr paul

He needs to burn some documents? How droll. Now, I want my photo. The promise of significant funds might be enough…

Dr Paul,
I can not answer more phone calls today. My colleagues are already suspicious. My friend, I do not want people to know about this deal they will want money from me.
Dr Paul – it worries me that this money has disappeared – perhaps you should try Western Union again just in case – I have spoken again to the local lady, I don’t think she has any idea what she is doing.
My Friend, please, can you go to Western Union and explain the situation and ask what could possibly have happened to my money.
I will not send more to your country without delivering it in person. The lady at Western Union, she said that it’s probably a scam. That you have taken my money and want me to send it again so that you can take more.
I don’t believe her – but you remember we had some problems earlier where I believed you to be a criminal. Dr Paul, I think, before I invest more money in a trip overseas, or send you more money by wire, I think you need to at last, take a step to demonstrate good faith.
I need you to send me a photo to reassure me that you are who you say you are. I need this Dr Paul, or the deal is off. I have already spent $850 for nothing. When you are as rich as me that is not a lot of money in the big picture, but you don’t get rich like me without being careful with your money. And I am a prudent and careful man.
You must do this. Send me a photo holding a sign like I asked to begin with, or the deal is off. As a Christian brother I ask that you hold a sign with your favourite verse from the Bible.
Please Dr Paul. I can not tell you how important this photo is to securing this deal and my travel to Ghana.

July 30, 2009

Dr Paul – Resurrected

Yesterday’s Dr Paul post got me feeling a little bit nostalgic. I miss our late night phone calls. I decided to see if I could redeem our relationship – and pursue the conclusion of our transaction. I ate humble pie. I apologised.

Dr Paul,
I wonder if you have had a chance to reconsider this arrangement.
I would like you to consider continuing with this transaction under the terms dictated previously.
As a sign of good faith I will be transferring a portion of the payment to Emmanuel via Western Union when I receive your reply.

And he took the bait.

Dear.

Thank you very much for your mail. how are you today my friend. my friend before you make my main to feel bad but now i no that you main have come down. so my friend since that time you fund is in airport waiting for you but because of the way you make my main fee bad make me that i did not contact you again. my friend that last time i try all i can do to see that i help you but you do want to understand me. but if you have come down just go and send it money today and get back to me fast so diplomat will live first tomorrow morning.

My friend as am sending you this mail all arrangement have make to deliver this fund to you this very week.  but friend just belive me that i will help you got you fund this week if you follow my word, but am happy now you main have come down because i did not like if am telling somebody truth it will hear me. so my friend please as you getting this mail now go and send this money fast. Am looking forward to hear a good new from you today.

Yours Friend

Dr Paul

Now, I’ve been doing a little bit of reading up on the whole scambaiting thing – Gilbert from scambuster419.co.uk – is the master. He has devised a number of ways to pay the scammers, without forking out any actual money. I decided to take this game to a new level… enter, the Western Union receipt.

Dear Dr Paul.
I went to the local Western Union agent to do the transfer – attached is a poorly scanned copy of the receipt. The post office I visited to conduct this transfer had very old equipment.
I will send you a better quality version when I can.
Regards,
Nathaniel
Good day sir.

Right. That’s official looking. I’ve paid my dues. It’s time for Dr Paul to come through with the goods.

Sadly, Western Union have an online facility for verifying the details of these things…

Dear.

My friend i have big problem now in western union the paper you send to me for the payment ,the MTCN number is not ok. my friend please go back to western union now fast and go am collect the information again because this one you send to me the MTCN number have mistake.

my friend please try do it fast now am in western union waiting for you. so by tomorrow diplomat will start coming to deliver you fund to you. my friend as i want to western to pick up this money the western union the find this mistake. please as i told you go now and collect the correct information please. my friend please try do very thing fast now so i will run down to airport and give them this money.Am looking forward to hear from you now.

Yours Friend

Dr paul

His request came outside of office hours – how could I possibly acquiesce – besides, the details are right. I’m sure of it…

Dr Paul, 

I am sure the details are correct – I also had to give the clerk a security question – they said these are mandatory for transactions to your country.

The question – was "what’s your favourite bible verse" – the answer is Exodus 20:15.

I got into Western Union’s local agency prior to their closing for the day – that receipt is exactly what they provided me.

You may need to work this out with the clerk on your side.

This is when the phone calls started. I’m not ready to talk to him again just yet. I suspect he stole my money.

Dear.

Thank you very much for your mail once again my good friend. my friend am not lair to you am telling you the truth please. my good friend i can collect this money and told you that i did not collect. my friend the code i try it by my hand in western union web site the code is not OK. my friend am please you to go back to that western union you send this money and please them to check it for you again so the will give you correct code please.

my friend since that time am standing in western union in fact not happy will them the time the check it and tell me the code is not correct. my friend let you main come down, try go now to western union send this and tell them to give you the correct code please. my friend since morning here am run round in airport to see that diplomat will move today. my friend i can lair to you am child of God. please take it easy very thing will being ok.

my friend please take my word i will not lair to you because i take you as my good friend. my friend how can i lair to my good friend i want to help.  my friend do it fast so i will take the payment to airport now.Am looking forward today

Yours Friend

Dr Paul

Indeed. Computers. Who can trust them. The Western Union system must be down… I have a few ideas of what might be causing the hold up (other than that I didn’t actually send any money of course…).

Perhaps the payment won’t clear for a day or two – I did pay by cheque. You might need to try again tomorrow or the next day. I will confirm that the details are correct – what number did you try?

They also said you’d have to go in person – not on the website – because you are in Ghana. There are special rules dictating transfers from Australia to some African nations.

That must surely be it…

Dear.

Thank you once again my friend. my good friend since am in this office i never see this before.  my friend please have you contact  the western union where you send this money since this problem come out?

please my friend if you did not contact them please try contact them so very thing will be clear fast. my friend by now diplomat have to live Ghana today but because of this problem is in airport waiting for me to come back and do the payment before he live Ghana will this fund. my friend this is transfer control number:8561629001  i see in that paper you send to me. my friend i will never lair to you in my life.

my friend am Man of 56year , i have three sons so  for me to lair to you can not help me. so my friend take my word very thing will be nice. my friend since today am never have Rest because of you try help me as am helping you here. Am looking forward to hear from you today.

Yours Friend

Dr Paul

Hmm. He’s never seen this before. Well, it must be a Western Union problem. The scent of payment got him pretty excited. I missed 6 calls from him last night. So this morning I sent him these two emails.

Dr Paul, 

Has the money arrived? I trust that this has all been sorted overnight and we can now proceed with the transaction.

Let me know what must be done in order for the diplomat’s trip to be a success.

Dr Paul,

That number is definitely correct. I have spoken to the lady at Western Union here – she said there are some computer issues that have prevented the transaction being registered with the Internet service – and said you need to go into the Western Union branch nearest to you to claim the funds.
The funds have definitely been transferred and cleared.

July 29, 2009

Gripping conclusion: Dr Paul and Miss Anna Mensah

Short of things to write about (well other than the queue of things that will fill the RSS feed and Curiosities column in coming days) – I thought I’d give you the conclusion of the Dr Paul saga – from the email point of view – you’ve heard the final phone call already…

After that phone call he sent me one last email, or so he thought…

“Dear.

Thank you very much for our phone discuss today. my friend am try to let you no my explantion but you are go head talking too much.. but my friend all this you are doing will not help you our. my friend just do what i told you very thing will being ok. but if you done want to do that will can stop this deliver.

Thanks

Dr Paul”

He’s still so polite, and after I’d been so rude. But I could tell he wasn’t going to send me a photo – so it was time to play hardball… This response is perhaps “truth with love” – tough love…

It’s too late Dr Paul. You are a criminal. You are trying to catch me in a Western Union Advance Fee Fraud. I am not stupid. Your unwillingness to provide a simple request proves that you are not to be trusted. 

I have told you the conditions under which I will continue the transaction. The ball is in your court.

If you’re not willing to do this then you are a scammer. A criminal. A thief.

You know what my favourite bible verse really is. Exodus 20:15. Though shall not steal.

You are not a very good scammer. Is this your first time? Has anybody ever given you money before? You are low. You are lower than a snake. I can’t believe anyone would be convinced by you – you can’t even get your name straight.

I will be putting your name all over the internet and approaching Yahoo to close your account – I hope I have wasted much of your time and prevent you stealing money from other victims.

A good scammer would have provided the small piece of evidence requested by their target.

You know what you really need. Jesus. Read the Bible. Leave your life of stealing money from innocent people and get a real job. Stop your deceit. Stop your stealing. Repent. You know what waits for unrepentant sinners – the eternal fires of hell.

Jesus loves you – he died for you. Even though you’re a thief and a liar who has no doubt stolen money from many innocent people with your little act.

Probably not the best piece of relational evangelism ever – and that’s when he rang me to call me stupid (the final phone call)…

Perhaps strangest of all was some sort of tag team strategy that Dr Paul began at that time. The “incompetent boss strategy”…

Welcome Ms Anna Mensah, Dr Paul’s much maligned secretary:

“Dear.Mr.Nathan Campbell

It is my pressure to contact you base on the information I got on your fund in Bank Of Ghana. I am Ms. Anna Mensah a personal secretary to Dr. PAUL ACQUAH Governor of the Bank of Ghana. I saw your file on my boss desk, is among three beneficiaries their fund have been

approved as part payment of US$15.7 million in this second quarter of this fiscal year 2009.

However, in your file you have 1% of the total amount of your money, a bill of KNOW YOUR CUSTOMER (KYC) to pay before your fund will be credited into your nominated account. I know too well that for the sake of what you have passed through in the hands of impostors and some corrupt bank officials in the course of getting your long overdue payment, you will not

like to pay any other money upfront.

To this effect Sir, I will like to introduce to you a financier who is very close to Bank of Ghana that will see the release of your fund and pay all the outstanding bill that have been with-holding the release of your fund and he will take 20% of the total money.

Sir, this information is between you and I, if you accept this offer your long overdue fund will hit your nominated account in less than a week pending on how fast you and financier are working out things. I will be waiting to hear your urgent response.

Yours sincerely
Ms. Anna Mensa”

Well, at this stage Nathaniel McIntosh Campbell was on his Christian high horse, and had had enough of this Dr Paul character who wouldn’t provide the photo he was asked for…

“Hi Miss Anna Mensah, 

You need to go back to secretarial school – you can’t even spell your own name.

Unfortunately your boss is a liar and a criminal. I hope he pays you – he won’t pay me, and he certainly won’t provide me with the proof that I have asked for the legitimacy of this deal.

I have no reason to believe that this is not a bunch of lies that you two are spinning in order to steal my 1% payment of the money I won’t ever receive. You ask me to trust you with a payment but you won’t trust me with a photo.

Unrepentant liars go to hell Ms Mensa(h). Remember that. I hope you don’t often steal money from innocent people. “

Yeah. Cop that. After the final phone call I wrote to Anna again, with a bit more carrot, and a bit less stick…

Dear Ms Anna,
I would like to make a formal complaint about the conduct of your superior – Dr Paul Acquah – he has been quite rude to me, he has hurt my feelings, and his customer service was extremely poor. Could you direct me to another employee who can take on my case and pass my feedback on to his boss?
I really think international clients should be treated with more respect. He was abrasive, he did not listen to me and he refused to comply with my requests.
I trust you will act discretely on this matter.
Thanks.
Nathaniel McIntosh Campbell

Perhaps Ms Anna will be the one to come through for me…

Dear.Mr.Nathan
I acknowledge the receipt of your mail. I have noted your words and believe that you will stand on it. how are you my good friend. my friend all you have to do now that you have send me all this infromation so will can start this transfer. my friend i done like the way you talk to me on frist email you sent to me before, but because of love i have on you i will help you.This is the information onbelow you have to send it down fast.
1. YOUR MOBILE
2. YOUR HOUSE ADDRESS
3. ANY OF YOU ID CARD
I am waiting for your responde.
Yours Sincerely
Ms Anna Mensah

Now, I’m not stupid. Some people are worried that these guys are dangerous – and with good reason. I’m unlikely to give them my address or any copies of my ID unless I can be certain that they’re legit. Like the guy in Flight of the Conchords… Sadly, Miss Anna’s love is unrequited.

Dear Miss Mensah, 

I will not be providing any of these details until I am sure you are not criminals. You must do several things for me before I provide those details:

1. Advise what action will be taken against Dr Paul.

2. Provide me a piece of identification – and a separate photograph to collaborate your identity – this photo must be produced to prove to me that you are not either Dr Paul in disguise or a criminal scammer. I would like you to send me a photo of you holding a sign that says "Exodus 20:15".

3. Provide me a written apology from Dr Paul for delaying this transaction through incompetence and being unwilling to meet the set parameters.

Once you have done these things I will send you my address.

Dr Paul has my mobile number – as you have my file on my desk this shouldn’t be a problem.

I live in Cairns, Queensland, Australia.

I will not send you my identification until I can be sure you are who you say you are. You are requesting me to send you money – the onus is on you to prove your identity not on me to prove mine.

Once you have established that trust we can do business.

I told them I’m in Cairns. They need the boost in international tourism that will come from a squad of angry African scammers…

I haven’t heard back from either of them since.

I do have a couple of other scammers on the go – I’ve had to start up a second email account though just to be on the safe side.

July 28, 2009

They call him Dr Paul

It’s pretty lame when you have to reference a They Might Be Giants song to come up with a title… but what can you do. Two last phone calls from Dr Paul – more emails will be posted tomorrow.

July 16, 2009

Phone phonies

Hopefully there’ll be an MP3 player there I had to embed this as a YouTube video – if there’s not, here’s a link to download the phone call that ended my relationship with Dr Paul.

He called me twice more last night, the calls were equally funny and will be posted here soon.

July 15, 2009

Photographic memories

It doesn’t look like Dr Paul will be coming through with a photo for me. Well, not the photo I want. He did send me this:

You’ll not that that’s not what I asked for. Sadly, he was pretty insistent that it’d be all I get.

Dr Paul,
It’s great I’ve got your passport picture – I really do need that second photo before I send you your money.
I have a question regarding the final transfer – what currency do you need the money in? You haven’t specified this – I assume Ghana’s currency – the Cedi – is what you’re after?
Please let me know when you provide the photo as requested.
Regards,
Nathaniel

He was less than forthcoming.

Dear

Thank you for your mail, and sorry for my late response, my friend because of big work i have in office makes me not to contact you since some days now, please am very sorry.

You can find the attache  copy of my office id card, so my friend try you best to see that  you sent the money down by next week diplomat will come over and deliver this fund to you.Am looking forward to hearing form you today.

Yours Freind

Dr.Paul

This was not acceptable to me. No sirree.

Dear Dr Paul.

Your ID card is not what I requested.

I requested a photo that could not be faked. Your unwillingness to provide what I have asked concerns me.

I also asked what sort of currency you want the transfer conducted in – and you didn’t answer that either.

I look forward to receiving your photo. As requested. With you holding a card with the words I have requested – either “John 3:16” or “Robot in disguise”. If you would prefer to come up with your own suggestion please let me know.

I must insist on a photo that could not be doctored or faked. Please supply this to me as quickly as possible. My patience is wearing thin.

He did not like this. Clearly I’m not following the script – he rang me to tell me that nobody else requires this sort of “proof”. I’m not normal. And he wrote to me to say the same thing.

Dear.

Thank you for your mail and explanations so far. my dear am not happy for you because i live very thing am doing in my office to see that you get this fund this very week but you are making very thing to go back. my dear the photo you are telling me i can not do that because since many people like you have being get the fund nobody of them told me this can of thing ,so my friend if you really want this fund the want to deliver to you please tell me but if you want it tell me because the way you are talk to me i did not like it.

once again my friend i done no how i want to help you but you done want to understand me.my friend if you are not interest tell me in time now so i will not being westing my time. my friend i give you my internation passport you did not understand me, i give you my id you too but you done want to understand so i will not die my self to you. Am looking forward to hear from you soonest .
Yours Friend
Dr Paul

Something needed to change in order for me to secure my photo. I had to give him an incentive.

Dr Paul.

I am sorry I did not answer your calls last night. I was very tired and couldn’t quite wake myself from my sleep.

I am starting to doubt you. I would say I am at best 30% confident in you. You have promised me an improbable amount of money. You have failed to provide the evidence that I have requested. You have sent me incorrect identification. You have ignored specific and reasonable questions over and over again.

$850 is a lot of money to throw away to a person in a country famous for corruption without doing proper due process and getting the evidence required.

Dr Paul – as the head of an international bank I would not think accessing a camera is beyond your means. I can’t understand why this task seems beyond you. Perhaps you’re busy seeing Barack Obama. I heard he was in your country calling for reform of your banking institutes. I hope this goes well for you.

I really must insist that you provide this photo that I have asked for before we go any further. Your passport and ID card mean nothing without this.

It is you that does not understand – provide the photo I have requested and we will conclude this transaction.

He responded with a phone call – so I wrote to him again…

Dr Paul,

I was glad to hear from you today.

I can’t understand why the fact that you’ve never done something before means that you can’t do it now. Has anybody asked you to do this before?

I don’t think you’re being reasonable. I have made a simple request and you have refused to comply. I thought we were friends. Give me one good reason why you should not provide the photo?

I can’t think of a reason for you to refuse, unless you are trying to defraud me.

I thought you wanted me to receive my money…

You are not being helpful.

Say hello to president Obama for me.

He responded to that one…

Dear.

Thank you very much for your mail and all the infromation you have being sending to me. my friend i do like the way you have being talking to me.my friend since in my life i have being send many people the fund i never see any body that told me to do this you told me to do. please my friend if you did want  diplomat to come and deliver this fund to you just tell me now so i will not being westing my time.

once again one thing am advice you that i will never do this can thing because you are giving me too much  disgrace. i give you my internationpassport and my id but you do want it, so i will never do any thing again. i live very thing am doing in my office want to help but you done want you help you self. so my friend all i want to told you now that if you done want to take my word or follow my word please stop contacting me. Am looking forward hear from you soon.

Yours Friend
Dr paul

Well, I am treading on thin ice. But I want my money. Well actually, I’d settle for my photo.

Dr Paul,

If this money is legally mine how can you possibly refuse to conduct business with me? I will report you to your superiors at the bank.

You have two choices – do what I say and provide the photograph or don’t do what I say and I will report you.

Once you do what I ask of you my friend I will transfer the money – and a generous fee for your time – to the contact you requested. I believe you should be unofficially recompensed for your hard work. I know you are just doing your job. I’m sorry that you find my caution insulting. I wish you would see it for what it is – an opportunity to build the trust and fidelity that exists between us.

I feel I have possibly not explained myself clearly enough. I once was presented with a similar offer from the Cote D I’vor – where I sent an advance fee in order to secure monies owing to me – it’s hard to know what money is out there owing to my family on account of our large property holdings throughout the world. The Cote D’Ivor deal turned out to be a fraud and I lost a significant sum of money. I am careful not to be caught up in that situation again – and so I ask you to do this one small thing for me.

Please Dr Paul –  do not be upset or insulted. We are friends are we not? I would simply like to have that friendship confirmed with this act of loyalty and good faith. It worries me that you are not willing to act in such a way.

He was upset and insulted.

Dear.

Thank you very much for your mail and explanations so far. my friend you are doing this like me and you was i having problem. my friend all i want to advice you that if you are willing to sent the money so you fund will deliver to you do it but if you go head and talking too much word it will not help you. my friend just do what i told yiou to do very thing will been ok. Am looking forward to hear from you soon.

Yours Friend

Dr paul

Poor Dr Paul. He needs some real “hard evidence” of my fidelity. And I need my photo…

Dear Dr Paul,
It’s not that we’re having problems – I value this correspondence – I don’t want to have problems in the future.
All you need to do in order to enable me to send these funds to secure my funds – if that is what you want – is send me a photo.
I am starting to suspect that you are not what you seem.
I have acted in good faith with you – and you have promised me much but delivered nothing.
If this money is real (and I am beginning to doubt it) – I make you this offer… I will give you 40% of it on completion of the transaction. I am so confident now that the money does not exist that I am willing to promise you a share of it – because a share of nothing is nothing. If it does exist I am willing to take that gamble as I will still come out of this deal with a significant amount of unexpected revenue.
If you want to secure your 40% of this deal – and if it is genuine – then send me the photo I have asked for. If you send me this photo I will pay you an advance on this deal because of the insult that my distrust must be.
If you send me this photo I will transfer the $850 you have requested and a $10,000 down payment on your share of the money. This photo is worth $10,000 to you. Either do it – or I’ll know you aren’t genuine. This is the only way I will be convinced to continue in this deal and trust you.
The equation is simple. At this stage I need proof in order to send you, a stranger, $850 of my money in order to secure millions of dollars you have promised me – that I have never seen. It may not exist. I don’t believe that it does. If it did you would send me the photo.
Remember Dr Paul that because this may be insulting to you I have promised you $10,000 of my money, as an advance, when you prove yourself to me. Do other clients pay you like I am promising to? I doubt it.

After this email he rang me. Once I figure out the best way to upload the phone call (I recorded it) I’ll put it here.

July 15, 2009

The Dr Paul saga

This is a very long post about Dr Paul, my new friend from Ghana. It’s over 3,000 words long.

Feel free to skip it. You have been warned.

Dr Paul is my new friend from Ghana. We have spoken on the phone a number of times. He has a thick African accent and he talks very fast. He tries to reassure me that I have nothing to worry about. Because he will look after everything and make sure I get my money.

Being the less than gullible person that I am I have had to demand some evidence to back up his claims. He has been less than forthcoming.

It might be time for me to try to turn the tables a little. Here are some email highlights…

FROM THE DESK OF THE GOVERNOR BANK OF GHANA (BOG)REPUBLIC OF GHANA

Dear Sir/ madam, IMMEDIATE PAYMENT OF YOUR CONTRACT INHERITANCE ON CONTRACT #:MAV/GNPC/GH/MIN/009.

From the records of outstanding contractors due for payment with the Government of Ghana your name and company was discovered as next on the list of the outstanding contractors who have not received their payments. I wish to inform you that your payment is being processed and will be released to you as soon as you respond to this letter.

Also note that from my record in my file your outstanding contract payment is US$15.7 million dollars (Fifteen Million Seven Hundred Thousand United States Dollar Please re-confirm to me if this is inline with what you have in your record and also re-confirm to me the followings:

1) Your full name.

2) Phone, Fax and Mobile #.

3) Company name, Position and Address.

4) Profession, age and marital status.

5) Any kind of identification

I don’t recall doing any work for the Government of Ghana. This is curious. I also changed my name slightly – you never know what sort of nastiness these people might be capable.

Hi Paul,

Thanks for contacting me. I am confused – are you suggesting that I owe you $15.7 million? That can not be correct.

Regards,

Nathaniel McIntosh Campbell

He didn’t respond to clarify the situation so I let him know I was no dummy… I may have embelished some details further to continue to further obfuscate my identity.

Dr Paul,

I have reread the wording of your original email. I now understand that you will be paying me $15.7 million.

I am very excited.

Can you advise what steps need to be undertaken for me to claim this money.

The answers, as best I can, to your questions, are as follows:

1) Nathan McIntosh Campbell

2) I don’t have a fax or landline – my mobile number is (my actual number).

3) Company Name: McIntosh Communications, position Director

4) Communications Professional, 42, Married.

5) Unfortunately my wallet was stolen in a home invasion three days ago – I will forward my identification to you when I receive new cards.

Obviously I sound impressive, because Dr Paul wished to continue with this transaction in order to deliver me my money. He seemed nice. He has not, at this point, demanded a share of the money owed to me…

Att: Nathan McIntosh Campbell

Thanks for the mail. We have noted the contents of your mail and we want to inform you that all arrangements have been concluded to deliver the fund to you.

Do note that it is absolutely necessary for you to send to me the nearest airport to your destination any your form of identification to enable the diplomat knows the person he is delivering to. Also the reason we need your nearest airport is to enable the us get freight clearance from Kotoka International Airport Ghana as well as for the Ghana Customs Excise and Preventive Services on your behalf.

This is very important.

Furthermore, you have to note that as soon as the diplomat arrives the nearest airport to your destination, he will call you and then advice you on the exact time he will be coming to your address for the delivery.

Finally, I will advice you to keep this process secret and confidential till the delivery has been made to you to avoid you loosing your funds. I will furnish you with the opening code number of the box because the diplomat will not have access to it except you.

Further information shall be given to you as soon as I hear from you.

Cordially yours,

Dr. Paul Acquah

Governor Bank Of Ghana Accra

+233-24-1111-297

That is his phone number. Feel free to call. I haven’t yet – he’s called me a few times. We’ve spoken for about 20 minutes in total. If he calls me again I’ll try to record the conversation. I am obviously very keen to receive this outstanding money – but I am cautious.

Dr Paul,

Thank you for your email. You understand I must approach deals like this with caution.

In my line of work I can not be embroiled in scandalous business dealings. I will need proof of your identity, and it must be demonstrably current.

Are you able to supply a photo of yourself taken today to demonstrate your bonafides? I would suggest holding a piece of paper with a phrase chosen by myself would be an appropriate measure. Could you please produce same – with my favourite Bible verse – John 3:16 – written on a piece of paper – not the verse, just the words “John 3:16” will do.

I will then supply you with the information required to complete the transaction.

Regards,

Nathaniel.

I am hopeful that Dr Paul will be the first person to supply me with this photo as requested. He responded with a passport – note it’s not the same one as the version included at the top of this post… but we’ll get to the reason for that shortly…

My dear you have to understand me that i dont want to make you not to get you fund. so my good friend please as you ask me my id you can see it attach to show you that am not telling you liar.Am looking forward to hearing form you soon. Cordially yours,

Dr. Paul Acquah

This was simply not good enough for a cautious guy like me… Particularly because the name on the passport is different to Dr Paul’s name. Something doesn’t seem right…

I chose not to notice the discrepency at this stage – because this was when I got my first long phone call.

Dr Paul,

Thank you for your phone call. Though it was very late at night in my country (and I was asleep) – it put my mind at ease somewhat.

My problem is this, my great uncle was once caught up in an international transaction where things were not as they seemed. Our family has learned from this incident.

I believe you to be true to your word – but I must insist that you provide me with an undoctored photo holding a piece of paper with the words I requested (John 3:16) written on them.

If you are who you say you are I can’t see why this would be a problem. Anybody can scan and send a passport photo or doctor it to make it look legitimate. Very few people could fake the photo I’ve asked you to produce in such short notice.

I am ready, and willing, to proceed with our deal once I get the photo.

Dr Paul obviously decided that this was the time for him to strike – and he asked me for $850 via Western Union.

Thanks for the mail and the information that you supplied.

Please note that I have been able to secure the Ghana Customs Excise and Preventive Services Clearance for your consignment examination and confirmation for freight to you from the Kotoka International Airport Ghana.

They said that you are required to pay the sum of $850 only being cost of freight of the consignment before the diplomat can come over to Australia for the delivery. all you have to do to try you best do send this money because diplomat is waiting for you before he will come to you door.

This money can be sent through western union money transfer or money gram to: NAME;Mr. Emmanuel Onyekwere

ADDRESS;Accra Ghana

As soon as you send the money do send the Western Union details to me via email so that we can take the payment information to the Airport to enable them collect the money. my good friend one thing i want to assure you that i will not let you down. Remember that the diplomat will travel from Ghana to Australia to deliver the fund to you the moment this payment is received.

I will be waiting to hear from you today. i wish you nice day.

Cordially yours,

Dr. Paul Acquah

We spoke on the phone and I asked if it was possible for this $850 to be taken out of the amount he apparently owes me. For some reason it was not. I started to get a little agitated.

Hi Dr Paul,

I’m thrilled that you’ve got the documentation. I really am. But do you think I’m stupid?

You’re treating me like an idiot. I have asked for one piece of proof – and you have refused to provide it.

I can’t understand why you’re finding it so difficult to provide a photo. I will not be transferring the money without it – but once I have it I will make the transfer.

Has the diplomat booked his flights yet? Do we have a deadline?

I expect your photo to arrive as soon as is practical. If you wish to call me to discuss please do so at a time appropriate for fitting in with my schedule – and not at an unearthly hour in the morning.

Regards,

Nathaniel.

He tried to calm me down…

Dear.

Thank you very much for your mail and explanations so far. my good friend i want to assure that the photo i send to you is my photo which my inter nation passport. mygood friend i don’t no how i can explain my self to you again. all i want to assure that i will never let you down by deliver this fund to you, because i see you that you are good person that makes me being try my best all this days to see that i get all document for you.

my good friend don’t worry just go and do the payment before end of this week you fund will touch you hand. my good friend this money that coming will help you so much include you family, just be liver me that i will do it for you. Am looking forward to hearing form you soon.

Yours Friend

Dr Paul

But I was not having any of that…

Dr Paul,

Thank you for calling again last night. I assume the call I missed an hour later was also from you – I’m sorry, I was asleep and didn’t hear my phone.

Please understand that while my tone on the phone can be harsh – I require an element of trust before entering into any business arrangement.

I do understand the urgency involved in this transaction and your need for a firm commitment.

I believe that the passport is your passport – all I require is a secondary piece of confirmation featuring your photo, but one that could not possible be faked.

This is why I have asked you to produce a photo holding my favourite bible verse. If you can not do this then I can not trust you.

It is that simple.

Don’t bother calling me again if you can’t meet my conditions.

I would have thought this task rather simple when considered in the context of a multimillion dollar transaction.

Rest assured, I will look after my end of the deal once the transaction gets underway.

But I must have this photo immediately.

You will then receive your $850 transfer.

I look forward to your response.

He sought to clarify exactly why he needs this money…

Dear.

Thank you very much for your mail and explanations so far.how are you today. my good friend i have explain to you my self time to time but you did not understand me, my dear you are not give me this money to eat but i want to use to help you for your fund. once again am not eat you money. you $850 is not in my side but one thing i want to assure you that if you want to collect you fund you do what i told you to do, but if you go head send me saying many things it will not helping you to collect this fund. my good friend is not only you the person that will have send there fund since this week. but because of love i have on you makes me live all am doing in my office help you..

my dear all this thing you are saying it will not help. my dear am not use you money to do any thing if you like send the money if you did not like don’t not send that is only business because i have explain my self to you but you do want to understand me. as am talking to you now very arrangement have do to deliver this fund to you but you have make very thing to be prolong. so my dear try to understand that am help you am not come to scam you money or eat you money but if you go head say many thing it will not help you.

Am looking forward to hearing form you soon.

yours Friend

Dr Paul

This is getting nowhere. Where is my photo… and who eats money anyway?

Dr Paul,

Until you provide me the proof I have asked for I will not believe you. These are just words you are using to persuade me.

I don’t think I ever suggested you would “eat” the money. I will not send you the money until you send me a second photo, with the sign I have requested.

You are either not understanding what I am saying – or not listening.

Produce a photo or I will not believe that you are who you say you are.

We had a pretty heated phone call after this – where I demanded the proof. I told him to put up or shut up. And I played my trump card. He claimed to be Dr Paul Acquah – and yet he sent me a passport for an Emmanuel Onyekwere as his proof – and asked me to send money to the same name.

I smelt a rat. After the phone call he sent me this email:

“Dear.

Thank you very once again. my dear you are not understand me too. my dear i live all am doing in my office try my best to help you but you do want to understand me. my dear i have proof my self to you but you do want to understand me. my dear don’t no what i will do for you again.. if you like i can send me the photo of you fund you can see you by you self. my dear you are make very thing to be prolong just do what i told you to do and live all this you are saying because it will not help you out by get this fund. i have explain my self to you but you do want to understand me. my dear if you did not want this fund just tell me because i have many people like you i live all their fund and look only your but you don’t want to understand me.my friend try follow my word you will not going to have any problem.Am looking forward to hearing form you soon.

Yours Friend

Dr Paul”

And I sent him this one… I heard nothing from him for a number of days afterwards…

Dr Paul.

Here are the facts. I will not be sending you the money for this transfer until you clear up the following and provide the proof I have asked for.

1. You have sent me a passport for Mr Emmanuel Onyekwere.

2. You have asked me to transfer money to the same person.

3. You have phoned me three times claiming to be Dr Paul Acquah.

4. You have sent me no identification to back up your claim to be Dr Paul Acquah.

5. I have asked repeatedly for a photo of you, holding a sign, as evidence of your legitimacy.

You have refused to provide it. On these basis I can only assume that you are either: 1. A terrible, terrible con man who has no idea how to run your own business.

2. Stupid.

3. Confused.

4. Trying to cover up your real identity with a cover story because of the dangers involved in assisting me to access my money.

5. Someone with multiple personality disorder.

6. I might be mistaken.

If it is option 4 – then I must assure you that I will not reveal the details of our transaction to anybody – but I must insist that you provide me with the photograph before we go any further.

You are sailing dangerously close to missing out on the 30% share of the funds that I was going to provide you – and I certainly won’t be transferring this money to you until you provide a photograph as requested.

He finally replied.

Thank you for your mail and sorry for my late response. I want you to understand that the identification for Emmanuel happens to be what I felt you requested for, based on the fact that he is the one to receive the money.

But nevertheless, I will be sending you my own personal identification as soon as I get to my office, as am writing this from the house at this moment due to the week end.

Still the same, I want you to understand that this transaction is legally binded and have absolutely nothing to do with what you might be thinking, so do have such though deleted from your mind. Thank you for your understanding.

Dr.Paul

I started to wonder if the barrier to getting my photo might be the Bible reference – so I asked him for something else.

“Hi Dr Paul,

I trust you had a good weekend – I look forward to receiving both your passport and a second photo corroborating your passport – a photo of you holding a piece of paper with the words “Robot in Disguise” would be suitable.

I saw Transformers 2 last night. I enjoyed it.

Regards,

Nathaniel”

And he sent me the passport photo included at the top of this post. I’m still waiting for my photo. He’s still waiting for his money. We are at an impasse.

July 8, 2009